The Call
by Neko-Emi
Summary: AU Exoneshot, now it's two oneshots. It's Ed's first day at his new school when he gets an interesting phone call. Then, it's Ed and Roy's first meeting...rated to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:…Did anyone else realize the abbreviation of "Author's Note" is "Not Available/Applicable" backwards? Yeah. Just a random AU oneshot I wrote while bored a while ago. Very AU and very random. No Al, sorry. Not a lot of mililtary personel, either.

AAAAAA are timejumps or place shifts.

Disclaimer: No es mio. Watashi no ja nai. FMA and all it's characters belong to someone that isn't me. Oh, and neither does the song "Getting Away with Murder" by Papa Roach.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I feel irrational—So confrontational—To tell the truth I am—Getting away with murder!" Suddenly blared and everyone turned to look at the new kid who was pulling out a cell phone.

"Mr. Elric, I'm afraid you'll have to give me your phone. They aren't allowed in class." Mr. Hughes said, holding out his hand.

"Sorry, sensei, but my brother only calls if it's an emergency. Can I talk to him first?" Ed asked, standing up.

"I supposed…"

"Thanks sensei." Ed flipped open the phone while everyone else watched curiously. "Alright, Envy, what happened?"

He listened for a moment.

"Okay, what did you give him this time?"

Another pause.

"Would you stop giving him _your_ meds to get out of taking them? Just send them down the drain next time. Anyway, how far away are the ambulances?"

Everyone was amazed at how calm the new kid was at what seemed to be a very bad situation.

"You WHAT? Why the HELL didn't you call them FIRST? I've told you to a million times now!"

Or not.

"I don't care how much they talk, call them and get Wrath into the hospital." Pause. "Tell them you left your meds out and open, I don't care."

Silence.

"Alright, I'll see you later. Bye." Closing the phone, he waked up and offered it to Mr. Hughes. "Sorry about the interruption."

"…That's okay, Mr. Elric, it was an emergency." Mr. Hughes wavered for a moment.

"Cool. Thanks, sensei." Ed walked back to his seat and sat down, to everyone's surprise.

"Mr. Elric, aren't you going to go see your brother?"

"Nah. Wrath'll be fine, it's not that uncommon. I'll go see him at lunch or something." Ed shrugged.

"Alright…Back to the lesson, then!" Mr. Hughes tried to salvage things.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Hey, shrimp, we heard that you're some kind of freak who doesn't care about his family." Sneered the popular football player Russell as he bushed the blond over.

Standing back up, Ed yelled, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT--" He cut himself off when he noticed everyone get quiet and move aside for the most popular boy in school. Everyone waited and watched expectantly.

"Hey, Ed, I hear Wrath's in the hospital again. Want a ride over?" Roy Mustang stunned the school with three things. 1) He appeared to know details about Wrath. 2) He wasn't harassing the new kid. And 3) (and extension of the first two) He _knew_ the new kid.

"That'd be great! Thanks, Roy!" The two walked out to Roy's car, leaving a school of dumbfounded kids behind.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That's it.

Just a note. I don't hate Russell or anything, I just needed a character and he worked.

Tell me what you think. Give me constructive criticism. Send me flames that will cause me pain because the grammar, etc is so bad. Don't do anything at all. It's up to you.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Um, a couple people asked me to expand The Call, one with the specific request for an explanation of how Ed and Roy first met, so, here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. However, some friends and I will be making a themed cake…XD

AAAAAA means change in scene, time, whatever.

AAAAAAAAAbegin the storyAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Hey, Ed, remember when we first me?" Roy asked while they drove to the hospital.

Ed smirked.

AAAAAAAAAAflashback!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Goddamit, Envy! Couldn't you at least give him something _nonlethal!_" An unfamiliar blond yelled into his phone while digging through his bag. "Arg! Where the hell is my note!?!"

Roy watched the boy curiously, pausing in his journey up the stairs.

"I wasn't talking to you—wait, WHAT!?" The boy's eyes widened comically. "YOU USED IT TO BURN DOWN—SAY WHAT!?!? Envy you fuckin' IDIOT! How the hell am I supposed to get down there now?!" The blond was so involved in his, er, conversation and Roy was so busy watching him that neither noticed how close they were getting until…

_Crash._

_Tumble._

"Fuck! Watch where you're going, bastard!" The blond screamed at Roy.

Roy glared back. "Why don't you watch—shit!" He cried out, grabbing for the railing, as he collapsed while trying to stand.

The blond rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone from where it had fallen. "Envy? I found a ride and even a reason. I'll be there soon."

He paused.

"No, I did NOT!" The blond slammed his phone shut. "Bastard. Alright, let me see your leg." He crouched next to Roy and inspected said appendage.

Roy paled suddenly. "There's a bone sticking out of my leg. I think it's broken."

"No shit, Sherlock. I'm trying to see if I can temporarily set it and get you to a hospital. You've got a car, right?"

"Yeeeah…" Roy watched the blond suspiciously as he pulled out a first aid kit.

"Good. Give me your keys."

"Why?"

"'Cause I can get you to the hospital faster than--"

"Dammit! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Temporarily setting your leg so we can go to the hospital."

"Well, I don't know if I trust you, so knock it off."

"Too late." The blond ignored Roy's gasp of pain. "If I leave it now, it'll get worse. Here," he handed Roy a small bottle, "take some, it'll numb the pain some."

Roy read the label, then looked at the blond who was tending his leg suspiciously. "Who are you and why are you giving me prescription meds?"

"Huh?" The blond glanced up. "Oh, yeah. I'm Edward Elric. The meds were from when I broke my arm. I have…a high pain tolerance. They'll help, trust me."

"Fine."

"Alright, I'm done. C'mon, we have to get to the front door, then I can get you to the ER."

"I suppose I might as well. You could've just left me here…"

"Great! I mean, it's not great that you broke your leg, but I can get you there and you know what, never mind."

Roy smirked as Ed helped him stand. "You know what, Elric, you're not too bad."

Ed shuddered. "Please call me Ed. Elric's my dad or there's a new teacher who doesn't understand our family. It usually ends badly thanks to Envy."

Roy tried to shrug. "Okay. By the way, I'm Roy." Ed nodded his understanding.

Luckily, they had only been on the second floor when they'd taken their tumble down the stairs and soon made their way to the front office. Ed helped Roy lean on a wall before sticking his head through the door. "Ms. Rose? Roy broke his leg. I'm gonna take him to the hospital, so could you let our teachers know?"

A pause.

"Nah, I can get him there faster. Thanks!" Ed returned to help Roy. "Alright, what's your car look like?"

"Er, it's a bright red convertible with ONFIRE plates." Ed eyed Roy but said nothing. Once they made it outside, Ed helped Roy lean against the wall.

"Keys, please." He held out his hand. Roy rolled his eyes, but handed them over. "I'll be right back." A few minutes later, Ed pulled up. "Let's get you in, then." Some struggling and three sessions of cussing at each other later, Roy was settled and Ed had gotten back behind the wheel. "One last question," Ed said, looking at Roy.

"Yeah?"

"Can you sign your own paperwork or do you need to call a guardian?"

"I can sign for myself. My parents are out of town so I have some paperwork I can show them."

"Good." Ed grinned. He slowly made his way out of the parking lot but, as soon as he got onto the road, Roy decided that it was _not_ a good idea to let Ed drive.

"What the hell?!" Roy demanded, clutching the door handle. "Do you even have a license?! We're going at _least_ twenty miles over the speed limit!"

Ed didn't even glance at the speedometer. "Actually, it's only eighteen."

"How do you—never mind, I don't—Aug!" Roy clutched the handle tighter as Ed took the corner at full speed. "We're gonna die. This is it. I should've just called 911 and waited for the ambulance."

Ed rolled his eyes at him, causing Roy to flinch at the lack of attention paid to the road. "It's not that bad. Envy's worse."

"What's up with your obsession with jealousy?" Roy tried to distract himself. He failed.

"Jealousy?"

"Yeah, you keep—slow down, dammit!—making metaphors. Envy this, envy that."

"Oh, _Envy_. That's my brother's name."

"Oh, I get it, odd name—wait, he drives worse than you? That's not possible—oh, God, LOOK OUT!" Ed was passing some old lady when Roy began yelling about an oncoming car. Ed blinked at the car, then sped up. Roy clenched his eyes shut and didn't open them until he was thrown forward by Ed slamming on the brakes.

"We're here." Ed said calmly.

Roy breathed deeply and tried to stop trembling. "I am _never_ riding with you as a driver again. Or your brother."

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, let's get you inside."

While getting inside was an adventure by itself, Roy almost stopped short when he saw an annoyed, green haired boy—girl—person standing by and equally annoyed nurse. Both brightened when they saw Ed.

"Edward! Thank God you're here." The nurse cried. "Here, I have the usual forms for you."

"Does this mean I can leave now?" The scantily clad, er, verdipelo (1) asked. Roy assumed form the voice that the green haired one was male.

"NO!" Ed and the nurse yelled simultaneously.

"Fine. But who's your friend, Edo?"

"Oh, right. Ms. Ross, I have another patient for you. This is Roy, uh,.."

"Mustang." Roy supplied.

"Right, Roy Mustang. His leg is broken and, don't worry, he can sign his own papers."

"Alright, Edward, what did you do this time?"

"It isn't my fault! The bastard ran into me!"

"Excuse me? You were on your phone and not watching where you were going!"

"So you should've moved!"

"Enough!" They stopped and looked at the nurse. "Come over here and I'll call a doctor while you start your paperwork."

Ed was helping Roy to the counter when he-with-green-hair commented happily, "Look, o'chibi is the perfect height for a crutch!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD BE CRUSHED BY THE BOTTOM OF A CRUTCH!!!" Ed hollered.

"Nii-san! Calm down, please, I want to see Wrath, and Envy-nii, please stop provoking him." Another, younger looking blond had appeared.

"Fine." Ed agreed, glaring at Envy, who simply stuck out his toungue.

"Wait, what's going on?" Roy asked, glancing between the three boys.

"You know that phone call I had? Wrath, my toher little brother, ate Envy's meds, which landed him here _again_, Envy destroyed my note to get me out of classes and a ride here, and I had to find another way down here since he _still_ can't sign for any of us. We have to wait another three months _and_ he has to pass a psyche exam."

"Aw, it's not _that_ bad, Edo. They treat us without waiting for you, at least." Another boy had entered the room. He had black hair, purple eyes, and was being pushed around in a wheelchair.

"Wrath! You'll be okay, then? Where are you staying this time?" The younger blond immediately started fussing over the new arrival.

"I'm fine; I'm in the same room as last time. Who's that?" Wrath nodded to Roy.

"Oh, right, I should do introductions. Roy, the green haired bastard over there is my older brother Envy, the blond kid is my younger brother Alphonse, or Al, and the kid in the wheelchair is my other younger brother Wrath. Guys, this is Roy Mustang, from my new school." Ed said.

"It's, uh, nice to meet you." Roy stumbled over his words.

"Don't worry, Mustang-san," Al assured him, "most other people regret meeting my brothers, too. You're not the only one, but they'll be nicer 'cause nii-san broke your leg. Well, Envy-nii might not, but that's just who he is."

Somehow, this didn't comfort Roy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAend flashbackAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ed's grinned widened. "At least Envy can sign the papers now."

"Yeah, but he dislikes ambulances and whatnot now to the point he won't call them. And you're _still_ no better at driving." Roy sighed exasperatedly.

Ed rolled his eyes. "You're gonna hit that car, Roy."

"What!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAend storyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(1) Verdipelo. This is me messing with languages and making up words. Comes from the Spanish/latin-ish roots meaning green and hair.

Yeah. Review if you'd like. I'd appreciate it but I'll understand if you don't (I'm not the best at it.)


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